Greetings from Qiryat Ti’ivon!

Last night I saw without a doubt, one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

I arrived at Smadar’s house in Qiryat Ti’ivon around 5 30, and around 6 her husband Gabi, and daughter Hadas arrived. After a few hellos, we jumped into the car and headed to Carmel, a Druze Village.

Druzes are a different religion entirely. I’m not quite sure of their background, but they specialize in weaving, and we spent about 20 minutes exploring the center street of the Druze town, admiring the weaving.

Then, we hopped back into the car, finally arriving at the top of a hill. Rather confused, I got out of the car, and what I saw took my breath away. The “hill” was actually a small mountain, and we were at the very top, looking down on the city of Haifa. It was so unreal. It was a little after sunset, so all the lights of the city were on. The buildings were mostly white, and looking down, I was able to see all of Haifa, gleaming in the moonlight. The city is closely packed together, right up to the Port of Haifa, which is dotted with factories. (Even the factories looked beautiful at night.)

But it was more of what was right in front of me that was most beautiful. A Bahayan temple. The Bahayans are a relatively new religion, but what they have done in their short existense is breathtaking. The temple sits in the middle of the mountain, and gardens then go straight from each side of it, from top to bottom. It’s all marble, but the floor is made out of old tiles. We weren’t allowed in, but what I saw was enough to engrain it in my memory forever. And if I thought that was beautiful, we drove the car down to the bottom of the mountain and saw the temple and gardens from the front. There really are no words to describe how beautiful is. Suffice to say, I will post pictures as soon as they are developed. The entire temple was lit up, as were the gardens, producing the most magical feel. Almost like you were in a movie.

Then, we went out for dinner at a Sho’arma restaurant. Sho’arma is a huge slab of meat on a pike rotating in an oven. The people there then take a huge knife and slice small slabs of meat to fill an entire pita. It was delicious. The meat was flavorful, and perfectly cooked.

Then, we drove down to the coast, and walked a promenade right next to the Mediterranean Sea. It was a paved walk, and the waves were rolling and crashing, and it was truly lovely. This promenade also seems to be a haven for stray cats, as they were there in abundance, but Smadar explained to me this is because it is right next to the sea, so fisherman often give the cats fish etc.

We then returned home where I proceeded to crash, and didn’t wake up until 1 30 the next afternoon. (Jet lag strikes again)

Greetings from Be’er Sheva!

Today we explored Tel Aviv and Old Jaffa. Tel Aviv is beautiful. Most of the buildings are painted white, and it’s unlike any city I’ve ever seen. It rests right alongside the Mediterranean Sea, and, because today was such a beautiful day, the water was a sparkling, crystalline blue, almost too beautiful to be believable.

We also walked through Old Jaffa, and a flea market. There was an abundance of beautiful vintage clothing, but there was also an equal amount of trash, which my cousin and I had an interesting time making fun of.

After Old Jaffa, we walked down the trendiest street in Tel Aviv, window shopping, stopping occasionally to look inside a store that sparked our interest. In many ways, Israeli style is similar to American, but a lot more varied.

Tomorrow, I’m going to visit my cousin Smadar, and her family, and I’m not sure what I’ll be doing there. I’ll try to keep you posted!

A Vacation From the Ordinary

Fair readers, it is with great pleasure I inform you that for the next 2 1/2 weeks, this blog will be posted very rarely, but the few posts will be wonderous tales of a far away country, and the events that transpire.

This far away country of which I speak is Israel, and the events that transpire? Well, I’m not quite sure what those will be yet.

So, I’m heading off to Israel, leaving my parents, brother, and town behind.

Catch ya on the flip side!

Esther and her Cone Bras

So, the artist formerly known as Madonna now wants be be called Esther. Somehow, I just don’t picture “Esther” (aka Madonna) singing Like a Virgin, or writhing on the floor in as little clothing as possible.

“Esther” (aka Madonna) claims that Kabbalah has taught her many things. Supposedly, it taught her that her children need to clean up after themselves. Because apparently, that’s not an obvious parenting technique.

And this whole kabbalah craze really bothers me. Kabbalah is jewish mysticism. Last time I checked, “Esther”(aka Madonna) is Christian. Did “Esther”(aka Madonna) convert without telling us? Kabbalah isn’t a fad, nor is it something to take lightly, and Hollywood’s obession with it irks me greatly.

So, yesterday Madonna was a dominatrix. Today she’s Jewish. What will she be next?
Any takers? Any guesses?

School’s Out For Summer!

As I meandered my way to Battlestar Galactica this afternoon, faint with heat exhaustion, it hit me. This is the last time I will ever park in the Junior Parking lot. Amd that got me to thinking about everything high school has been for me.

I started freshman year as a short, skinny, frizzy haired, braced teeth, big nosed, pseudo punk, loner kid. And as I enter senior year, I’m not that person anymore. Somewhere between 4′8″ and 5′1″, I grew up. This time next year, I’ll be draped in gown, topped off with a cap, receiving my diploma.

And all my senior friends, the people I aspired to be like. I am going to be taking their place. Parading down the hallways in my Toga on Toga Day, because I’m a Senior.

It’s crazy. I just started high school. How is it that I’m entering my senior year already? I’m going to Israel by myself. I’m going to summer college. I have my license. When did all this happen? I don’t remember it happening so suddenly.

I best enjoy it while I can!

I Checked in at the Paris Hilton … and more gripes

Oh dear me, that was an embarrassingly bad and overused pun.

I feel obliged to admit to you all, that collapsed on the couch last night, my hair frizzing up from the humidity, I turned on the TV and found myself watching Paris Hilton and that other girl in The Simple Life 2.

I have a few fond memories of this high quality show to share with you.

Scenario: Paris Gets Pulled Over:
Paris: Do you think I could flirt with him to get out of a ticket?
Then proceeds to pancake herself in even MORE makeup
Comments: ew. ew. ew. The officer was old. And skeevy. And I know you’re into the whole internet sex video thing, but there’s nothing okay about you flirting with an officer. That’s just, yeck.

Scenario: Paris and The Other Girl Making Over a Six Year Old
There aren’t any real conversational points here, but when they were done the little girl looked like a model.
And when I say model I mean local model.
And when I say local model, I mean model that leans into your car.
And when I say model that leans into your car I mean hooker.
And really folks, there’s a shortage of six year old hookers, don’t you think?
And the worst part is, when her mother came to pick her up, she commented on how lovely the little girl looked.
I’ll be honest here, I didn’t start wearing make-up until 9th grade. And I rarely wear it. And when I do wear it, it’s neutral.

When did it start being acceptable for little girls to dress like prostitutes?
I know a seventh grader whose mother bought her THONGS.
How old are seventh graders…12? 13?
I’m 16, and I don’t even OWN a thong.
I drive through town, and little 8th grade girls will be walking around with skirts so short you can almost see their butts.

I can just picture it…
Mrs. Jones: Oh sweetie, you look lovely!
Judy Jones: Aww really mommy? Does the halter top look good?
Mrs. Jones: Yes sweetie!
Judy Jones: And the low rise jeans?
Mrs. Jones: They look adorable.
Judy Jones: And the belly button ring?
Mrs. Jones: It puts the whole ensemble together.
Judy Jones: Oh boy, I’m going to be the coolest girl in 5th grade!

And the sad thing is, that probably happens too.

I hate you SAT IIs! Wait!! MARRY ME!?!?!

Confused by my title? Ah fair reader, you should be.

I detest the College Board, and everything they stand for. The undermine the ideals of free learning without testing, and they also take away at least 3 hours of valuable sleeping time on at least one Saturday morning per year.

But lo, out of this pitiful cantankerous hell hole pops the SAT II writing. Which I kind of studied for. In class. Without great fervor. And too my great suprise, I acheive a very good, and unexpected score.

So College Board, I still hate you, and believe you undermine the ideals of free learning, and that I could be sleeping but instead I’m taking the god forsaken SAT IIs.
And acheiving a high score.

So, what, children, do we learn from this love hate relationship? Nothing, really, because I still have the SAT IIs in French, US History, and Literature to look forward to. Yipee!

Drink Up! It’s Toxic.

Darwin Awards are given to people who die doing stupid things. Death is never fun, nor something to taken lightly. Now that I’ve gotten that little disclaimer out of the way.

Drink Up! It’s Toxic!
13 Iranians have been killed after drinking Toxic Moonshine, a homebrewed type alcohol. Granted, I can understand the need to get drunk, I’m sure everyone does it at least once in your life. But you know how in chemistry class, the flasks that have poison in them say POISON or TOXIC in big letters, and then people with half a mind know not to drink them?

So, let’s just picture a scenario here…
A:”Want something to drink?”
B:”Sure! What is it?”
A:”Toxic Moonshine!”
B: *knocks one back*
B: *dies*

Who in their right mind drinks something with the word TOXIC in it?
TOXIC moonshine.

Main Entry: tox·ic
Pronunciation: ‘täk-sik
Function: adjective
Etymology: Late Latin toxicus, from Latin toxicum poison, from Greek toxikon arrow poison, from neuter of toxikos of a bow, from toxon bow, arrow
1 : of, relating to, or caused by a poison or toxin
2 : affected by a poison or toxin
3 : POISONOUS

Yes, that’s right, let’s go swimming in some Radium while we’re at it! Oh, and when we’re doing with that, we can get high on Carbon Monoxide!

Chemistry? What’s Chemistry!

As of about 4 hours ago, I never have to take Chemistry ever again.

For the rest of my life.

I don’t need to know whether or not the titration of HCl is coincidal with the titration of KOH, and I most certaintly don’t need to know the periodic table.

Chemistry, our time together has come to a close.

HEELLL YESSSS!!!!

1 For The Road

Scene: Breakfast

Dad: (to pastry boxes) Don’t worry little guys!
Me: DAD! Stop talking to the pastries!
Dad: I’m not!!… They’re talking to me….