Starbucks Preachers

My mother treated me to some coffee at Starbucks this afternoon before we went to see a movie. As I was enjoying my chai latte, I noticed the little quotation that hangs out on the side of the cup. It was a quote by the vice president of something or other of the Orlando Magic, speaking about being a servant leader, a servant to the needs of others. I read it aloud to my mother, saying, “That seems kind of ridiculous.”

“It’s not!” a voice chimed in from across the outdoor tables. I looked up. “It’s true,” a small woman with cropped black hair and a Burberry jacket called to us. “I humbled myself to the Lord many times and he has always exalted me.” I nodded. “Everytime I praised myself the Lord only brought me down.” But she wouldn’t stop talking. She went on for at least 5 minutes, detailing experiences and examples of her humbleness. I couldn’t shake her. And seeing as I’m not one to say “Shut up, lady!”, I was in a pickle.

I looked at my mother to see her smirking. She adamantly refused to make eye contact with me. What is it about me that attracts all the crazies?

After she continued on her holy way and left us alone, I got to thinking. The first thought that came through my mind was I need to blog this. The second thought was the Lord exaltedher? Let’s take a look at what the word exalted means, courtsey of the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

Main Entry: ex·alt
Pronunciation: ig-’zolt
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin exaltare, from ex- + altus high — more at OLD
transitive verb
1 : to raise in rank, power, or character
2 : to elevate by praise or in estimation : GLORIFY
3 obsolete : ELATE
4 : to raise high : ELEVATE
5 : to enhance the activity of : INTENSIFY

So this got me to thinking even more. She honestly believe that God glorifies her? Doesn’t that go a bit against the mold? And by against the mold I mean COMPLETELY OPPOSITE? I confess that I’m not much of a religious person, but I pray in synagogue, and I exalt God with my prayers.

But I’d only expect God to exalt me if I, you know, brought Jesus back or caused world peace, stopped global warming, and stopped terrorism all at the same time. And c’mon, I may be determined but even I can’t deal with terrorism and world peace at the same time.

So by sitting in the back row instead of fighting for a front seat, the Starbucks Preacher Lady believes that God glorified her. Elevated her on high. Intesified her glory. Surrounded her with a halo of white light and a heavely chorus?

Someone has some serious delusional issues.

Edit: My mom says Al Gore can do three of the four exaltation worthy things, so I guess he’s to be exalted.